Thursday, November 18, 2010

A Compelling Purpose

Magnificent grace = God's all-reaching, encompassing compassion. The delight He holds about me, His complete desire to fully know me. God willingly and generously sent His son Jesus be sacrificed on the cross, payment for sin. Too splendidly glorious to ever comprehend, too marvelous to repay.

Sometimes I am drawn toward wonder and sometimes toward bitterness. When I consider the loss of a marvelous man like my brother Tim, and ponder all the tremendous experiences and impact that are no longer in-the-flesh, alive, current, I have a choice ahead of me: blessing, or bitterness. To stand amazed at God's miracle of the ordinary, everyday life -- and remain a mode of thanksgiving for His blessing of seven years, realizing the gift of three children and life's milestones was indeed a miracle, and marvel.
If I were to simmer in bitterness, eventually the realm of my world would become smaller, the impact of Tim's well-lived existence perhaps to seem cheapened by my inability to stay thankful, to remember. I'd forget to write of all the fantastic moments we shared. To be in a place of constant grief will inhibit my ability for ministry, hold me in a cycle of memory instead of a course of compelling purpose.
I think Tim would urge me to live in wisdom and blessing, with fervor; to be changed. To care for those who remain, many loved ones who are also seeking the Lord and serving Him in quietness and humility. Tim would encourage me toward a healthy manner of sorrow, but staying purposeful, perhaps refining my vision. I was always challenged and changed by his guidance during life conversations, and seek to remain fixed Christ, ears tuned to His call on my life; on a course of outreach and intentional love.

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